I want to fall into the gutter and see no fucking stars

The Impossible Task of Falling Apart

I can’t fall apart. I want to. Really

But I’m too fucking evolved, too strong, too spiritual

I hate my resilience

I want to fall into the gutter and see no fucking stars

I want to smoke and drink

But I never smoke or have a drink

My lungs wouldn't get the poison - they'd cough too soon

I want to fall into the gutter and see no fucking stars

Before the stale beer would get me drunk- into gloriously gross downfall

I would throw it up, my divine body would reject it

I can’t fucking fall apart, I’ve done too much therapy

I want to fall into the gutter and see no fucking stars

I despise my own values

To hell with them!

Let me throw molotov cocktails and fuck guys with wedding rings

I want to fall into the gutter and see no fucking stars

I want the 80’s back with Thatcher and despair and real art

Music that drills into your bones

And clubs reeking of spilled drinks and body fluids

I want to fall into the gutter and see no fucking stars

I want to be angry, and mean

I want to shave my head and grow hair on my pussy

Flip a finger and shout: OI!

I want to fall into the gutter and see no

fucking

stars.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars - Oscar Wilde